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Funny Quotes and things that will make you laugh, or least smile.

If you have been waiting for a sign, this is it!

If you have been waiting for a sign

People often ask for a sign about whether they should do something or not. Whether they should start a new project or stop doing something. Some type of guidance about what to do in general. They hope that the universe will help them make the right decision. Sometimes someone will say something or you will […]

I do not insult people, I just describe them

I don’t insult people, I just describe them

When you think about it, this is so true. When you are yelling down the phone or directly at someone when you are angry or frustrated, you will notice that in fact you ARE describing them (or at least what you think them to be). You ?@#! … that ?@#! part is your colorful description […]

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin

The main reason Santa is so jolly

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ― George Carlin Yes, and lately those “girls” in their twenties and thirties seem to have been especially bad. No wonder Santa Claus always has a big smile on his face. Have you been good this year?

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. – Phyllis Diller Have you ever been to an office party? Well I don’t know if it is just the ones I have been to but usually there are free (alcoholic) drinks and there is almost always someone (or […]

Bored kid with nothing to do

What to say when a kid says they’re bored

Isn’t it funny how kids nowadays say they are bored even though they are surrounded by a million things that they can do. This is a classic response to give whenever your child says “I’m bored.” You said you’re bored? You’re 10 years old and you have… a laptop, an iPod, a video game console […]

Funny quote: Guys are like slinkies. Good for nothing but it’s funny when they fall down the stairs.

Guys are like slinkies

Here’s another funny Men vs Women quote: Guys are like slinkies. Good for nothing but it’s funny when they fall down the stairs. Remember, don’t try this at home folks!

Funny Answer Machine Message

Funny Answer Machine Message

Imagine calling someone and getting this message on their answering machine: Hi. I am probably home. I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call you back, it’s you. And then you don’t get called back… What funny messages have you heard on an answering machine?

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

A father carries pictures where his money used to be

A father carries pictures where his money used to be. – Author unknown Oh, how true this is. Whenever you go to open up your wallet, all you see are the photos of your kids… and nothing else (maybe the odd moth flying out the wallet too). But do you know what? It’s always well […]